


Promises

by azriona



Series: Advent Calendar Drabbles 2013 [20]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Advent Calendar Drabble, F/M, Marauders, Pre-Book(s), Secret Keeper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-05 09:37:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1092387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azriona/pseuds/azriona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius and Lily have always had an uneasy truce.  Trusting doesn’t come easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promises

**Author's Note:**

> The twenty-first installment of this year’s Advent Calendar Drabbles. Because I am lazy, I’m titling the drabbles with the prompt. Today’s prompt is from pakaboori, whose request really leaned more toward compromises than promises, but this is what sprang to mind.

“Keep a secret for us,” said James. Lily was in the kitchen, feeding Harry from a bowl of cereal. Harry was having none of it; kept flinging his spoon against the floor and laughing when it bounced right back up at him. 

Sirius watched them over James’s shoulder, and then looked his friend in the eyes. “Anything,” he said. 

* 

_Four years earlier_

The group of girls by the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room shrieked with laughter, high-pitched giggles that hit the boys like a smack in the face as they entered through the portrait hole. It was warm and bright and sweetly sharp walking into it, as different from the driving, freezing rain outside, and James waited until he was right behind Lily Evans before he shook the melting snow and ice from his hair like a shaggy dog onto her. She let out a holler and leapt to her feet, the now-damp parchment in her lap falling limply to the floor, the ink already beginning to run. James stared at the now ruined essay, his mouth open in surprise, before one of the tasseled cushions flew straight at his head. 

“James Potter!” shouted Lily. “That was my _Potions_ essay, I’ve been working on it for _hours_.” 

James didn’t answer, he just ran for the boy’s tower, and Lily was hot on his trail. Sirius wasn’t about to follow, and anyway, there was another fireplace across the way. He knelt down by it and began to lay out his Qudditch gloves, guards, pads, and the assorted soaked items he didn’t dare leave in the Gryffindor locker room. There were limits to the sorts of spells one could leave in place, and Sirius didn’t trust any of them. 

Lily could be heard right down the tower, banging on their door. Sirius didn’t have a hope in the world of getting in there, thanks to that great prat of a James Potter. He wondered, idly, if Remus and Peter were trapped inside with him. 

Lily came downstairs after a few minutes of shouting, color in her cheeks. She almost looked pretty, if one liked ‘em red. Sirius liked them in any color, but Lily…she was another thing entirely. Apart from being James’s…well, that was something he’d been meaning to bring up. If he ever got her without the pack of girls that seemed to flank her every move, and that was highly unlikely. 

The late afternoon dragged on as dinner approached. The girls showed no sign of leaving, and while other blokes were coming down into the Common Room, James, Remus, or Peter weren’t among them. Probably scared of running into Lily. Leaving him to bear the brunt of it! Arseholes. Sirius crouched near the fire and glared at the first years who tried to sit nearby. They scattered right sharp. 

The clock in the corner chimed; dinner would be served soon. Sirius was nearly dry, and well past starving. The girls rose as a unit, and as a unit, flitted over to the portrait hole to head downstairs. He’d give them a few minutes head start, and then go upstairs to let James and the others know the coast was clear. 

Or not. They could starve just as easily, the cowardly morons. 

The portrait door closed with a click. Sirius counted to ten and stood up, only to face Lily Evans, waiting with her arms crossed behind the sofa. 

“Cheers, Lily,” said Sirius, though it was forced. Lily’s stern expression didn’t change. 

“Sirius.” 

“I am.” An old joke and still one of his favorites, for all its immaturity (as McFrown-at-all called it; she wouldn’t know a joke if it climbed into her hat and took up housekeeping). 

“I know you were egging him on,” said Lily, and Sirius’s back stiffened. 

“That was James’s idea, not mine. I didn’t know you were working on your essay.” 

“I meant with Severus.” 

Sirius rolled his shoulders and shrugged. “What else are you to do with Snivellus?” 

“Why don’t you try leaving him alone? That usually works.” 

Sirius snorted. “You could try keeping your nose out of things that aren’t your business.” 

He started past Lily to the portrait hole – James and the rest be damned – but Lily caught his arm to hold him back. 

“Severus is my _friend_ , so I’m _making_ it my business.” 

It was too much like something his father would say, and Sirius shook Lily’s hand off his arm. “You need to re-evaluate your definition of friend,” he shot back. “He’s a little sneak who’s only looking out for himself. You’ll see.” 

“Funny, sounds exactly like you,” countered Lily. 

“Me?!?” 

Lily laughed, high and bitter. “Who checked out every copy of The Goblin and Witch Trials from the library last term and didn’t return them until after the class test? Who deliberately replaced all of the dung beetle eyes in the Potions storage cabinet with glass beads, but made sure his own supply was safe?” 

“Could’ve been anyone,” said Sirius, as calmly as he could manage. 

Lily snorted. “Who has been using extendable ears to find out wherever Severus and I are studying, and makes sure to appear with James in tow? What a nice double trick that must be, Sirius. You get to torment Severus with your presence _and_ remind James that he and I are friends, all in one go. Clever of you, very much so.” 

“Ta,” said Sirius. It _had_ been rather tricky to pull off. And James was starting to suspect. He was clever, James – no Remus in Defense or Peter in Potions, but he picked up on things eventually. 

“James asked me to stop being friends with Severus, you know.” 

Sirius didn’t know. And for a brief moment, he felt triumphant. He hadn’t thought James would actually _do_ it – more likely he’d just drop Lily, which was equally a suitable solution. Girls who hung about with twats like Snivellus Snape didn’t deserve to date James Potter. 

And then he saw Lily’s face, the way her eyes were red and wet, the way she was shaking despite standing strong and tall against him. Angry, she looked…well, she looked rather splendid, he thought. 

“I won’t do it on his say so,” continued Lily. 

“You be friends with who you like, Lily,” said Sirius coolly. “But you take the lumps that come with them.” 

“Gladly,” said Lily, and they stared at each other for a moment, as if assessing whether or not there was any point to continuing. 

There wasn’t. After a moment, Lily nodded briskly and left the room. 

Sirius counted to ten, and then went up to fetch James and Peter and Remus. The wimps. 

* 

_Now_

“It’s Harry,” said James. “You-Know-Who…I don’t get most of it, but Dumbledore said there’s this prophecy, and he’s got it in his fool head that Harry’s in danger. That he wants to…” 

James tried to swallow and couldn’t. His head fell forward and he rubbed his temples before continuing, speaking to the floor. “We have to hide. Otherwise, he’ll come and ki—“ He swallowed again, unable to finish, his throat working hard to drown the words before they could be spoken. 

Sirius couldn’t look at James. He stared into the kitchen, where Lily had given up on the cereal, and was giving Harry bits of toast with jam, floating them into shapes in the air so that Harry could snatch them, one by one. 

* 

_Two years earlier_

The wedding was small – the Potters weren’t a large family, and neither were the Evans, though that was more because most of the Evans refused to attend apart from Lily’s parents. The Potters, there weren’t any of them left, except for James. 

And now Lily. And the baby, but there weren’t many who knew about that. Sirius didn’t know until the night before, when James confessed under the influence of firewhiskey. 

Sirius tried not to eye Lily’s waistline. For one thing, she’d notice and kill him, and he was too young to die for such a stupid thing. For another, she was only two months along, and Sirius knew perfectly well that no one would have been able to tell yet. 

He wasn’t going to say anything about it, either. He’d promised James. And they’d always planned to get married, and soon too, what with the way the world was going. This was just…sooner than they’d really expected. 

A small wedding, a slightly larger reception. Of course, most of the reception was huddled in corners, talking in whispers, making plans and planning defenses. Sirius wished they’d lay off for just a few hours. 

“Bad enough that James is _married_ ,” he grumbled to Peter as they sat on the edge of the dancing floor. Peter was trying to balance one of the knives without the aid of his wand. “Do they have to make everything so bloody serious?” 

Peter glanced quickly at the group of wizards in the corner: Kingsley Shacklebolt, and the Prewett brothers, and Marlene McKinnon. “It _is_ serious, Sirius.” 

“Don’t steal my joke,” snapped Sirius, sulking, and stuck his legs out onto the dance floor. 

“Don’t hand it to me, then.” 

“Christmas wedding,” scoffed Sirius. “Thought Lily was more original than that.” 

“Like befriending-your-greatest-enemy original?” asked Peter. 

“Sod off,” said Sirius. 

“Guess they were tired of waiting,” said Peter. 

Sirius thought about spilling the secret. Wasn’t as if people couldn’t do the math on their own, anyway. Or maybe Lily was hoping everyone would forget basic arithmetic in another seven months. 

“I’m going to dance,” said Peter firmly, and went to ask one of the pretty girls Lily had invited. Something Jenkins. Sirius didn’t remember, didn’t care, hated everyone, hated James, hated Lily, hated You-Know-Who, hated Dumbledore, hated… 

“Hi,” said Lily, sitting next to him. 

“Hi,” said Sirius. He was still compiling the list of people he hated. 

“I know you know. About…why we’re here today.” 

Sirius looked at her, almost expecting to see a stern look on her face. Instead, she looked…peaceful. Calm. Rational. It didn’t fit. 

“Okay,” said Sirius carefully. 

“James told me. It’s all right. I mean – I’m not angry with him. I’m kind of surprised he didn’t tell you before.” 

“James doesn’t tell me everything,” said Sirius shortly. “He’s got _you_ for that.” 

Lily bit her lip. “Yeah,” she said softly. “But…you’re his best friend. That’s what best friends do, you know. Tell each other things.” 

“You tell Severus?” 

Lily went still, as if she was holding herself in, keeping herself planted on the seat lest she slump to the floor, boneless. 

“Severus isn’t here,” said Lily, and she stood up. “Do you know where Remus is? He owes me a dance. Never mind, I see him.” 

And she was gone. 

Sirius stared after her, and looked around the reception. 

Severus Snape wasn’t there. Lily was dancing with Remus, graceful and laughing as he went stiffly from one foot to the other. But her eyes were bright with unshed tears, and Remus looked as if one false move would cost him everything he held dear. 

* 

_Now_

“Whatever you want,” said Sirius, and he laid his hand on James’s shoulder. He thought he knew what James was going to ask, and it scared him more than anything he’d ever done in his life – holding a tiny newborn Harry included. “I’ve got you. I’ve always got you, you know that. Tell me what you need me to do.” 

James sat back up and breathed. “Yeah, I know. I know.” He smiled, a bit crooked at Sirius. “Keep a secret for us.” 

Sirius’s heart thudded. “Anything.” 

“Good.” James breathed a sigh of relief. “We need you to help Peter.” 

“Peter,” echoed Sirius. 

“You-Know-Who is going to come after you,” said James. “You’re the obvious choice, Sirius. It’s why we can’t make it. God, I wish we could. You have no idea how badly I wish we could. I’d trust you with our lives. But…” 

“No,” said Sirius slowly. “You’re right. Peter…no one’s going to suspect Peter.” 

“Remus is already on the run – and Peter says he’s got some Potions that can help him with a disguise. But he needs some help getting here, he says he’s being watched….” 

“Anything,” said Sirius. “When do you want me to get him?” 

* 

_A year ago_

The baby was so small that Sirius wasn’t even sure he was holding anything but a bundle of blankets. A warm, solid, slightly smelly bundle of blankets, one that wiggled just enough to make Sirius think of a flobberworm, but he had the idea that if he compared the baby to a flobberworm, Lily would hit him. She was already watching him with a worried eye, despite the smile on her face. 

“Bit small,” said Sirius finally, and Lily laughed. 

“She laughs every time someone says that,” complained James. 

“I have a different viewpoint of his size,” said Lily, and reached out to take him back. 

“I’m good,” said Sirius. “I think he likes me.” 

The baby yawned, stretched, and peed, if the growing dampness on Sirius’s hand was any indication. 

“Definitely a mark of approval,” said James, and this time, Sirius gave him up to Lily willingly. 

“You’re naming him for me, of course,” said Sirius, watching them go. 

“After your greatest attribute,” said James. 

“Pride Potter,” said Sirius. 

“Harry, actually,” James corrected him, and Sirius gave him a shove. 

Lily was just visible in the next room, changing the baby, who looked less like a flobberworm and more like a mandrake without the blankets. Thin and reedy and squalling, and she smiled and talked to him, and touched him gently, and when he was bundled up again, she picked him up and held him close, tucked her head next to his and rocked slowly, back and forth, back and forth. 

“Yeah,” said James, and Sirius realized that James had fallen silent, watching the pair of them. Sirius glanced at his friend, and was startled to see an odd look on his face: as if James was watching the most gorgeous thing in the world, and could have been content watching them forever. “Sometimes I wake up and think they’re not actually mine.” 

Sirius didn’t say anything. 

“She could have picked Severus. She picked me. I don’t know why.” James laughed softly and rubbed the back of his head. “I’d…I’d do anything to keep them safe. It’s not that I thought the Order was a lark, exactly. It’s always been the right thing to do, fighting You-Know-Who. It’s just…it means more, with Harry. I’m fighting for them both. I’d die for them, to keep them safe. I would.” 

James let out a breath, as if he’d been holding that in for days. He probably had, thought Sirius. 

“Yeah,” he said, and watched his friend watch his family, and waited for them to return. 

* 

_Now_

Peter and James were setting up the room, laying out the runes, marking the floor and doing all the other bits of preparation. Sirius didn’t know. Sirius wasn’t allowed to know. It grated, a little, but…it was better. 

It was also time to go. He’d done his bit, and now it was time to scarper. The fingered the Polyjuice in his pocket, prepared with a bit of Peter. He’d drink it down before he stepped out, and the hour of lead time he’d have would be enough to lay the trail as Peter Pettigrew. In another hour, after the ritual was complete, Peter would take his own Polyjuice, disguise himself as Sirius, and then the chase would begin. 

“Sirius,” said Lily from the doorway, and Sirius gripped the bottle in his hand. 

“Come to say goodbye?” 

“Peter will keep us safe,” said Lily, clutching Harry tightly. 

“I know.” Sirius didn’t, but better not to say. 

Lily pressed her lips to Harry’s head, and then looked up at Sirius. “You’ll keep Harry safe, if something happens, won’t you?” 

Sirius wondered what James had told Lily exactly, about why they were going into hiding. “Lily—“ 

“Promise me,” said Lily, harshly, holding Harry even tighter. “You have to keep him safe. You have to promise me – I’m not going to let _anything_ get to him, Sirius. _No one_ is getting past me to my baby. You have to promise me that if I can’t do it, if I’m not strong enough—“ 

“You’re strong enough,” said Sirius. “Lily, you’re the strongest witch I know.” 

Lily stared at him, as fierce and frightening as she’d been in the Gryffindor Common Room, defending her choice in friends. 

“He can’t protect us,” Lily whispered to Sirius. 

Sirius felt his blood go cold. “Peter’s fine.” 

“Not Peter.” 

Lily glanced behind her, to the room where Peter and James worked. James’s voice floated through the door, quiet and furtive. _Uno homine non est dicere coactus…_

“He’s going to try. If…if the worst happens. James will try to protect us both. And he won’t be able to do it alone, and it’ll kill him.” 

Sirius swallowed. 

“I won’t that monster touch my baby, Sirius,” whispered Lily. “Not. One. Finger. I love Harry more than anyone else in the world. I’ll die before he does.” 

Her eyes were dark with fire. Sirius thought he saw them gleam. “I know.” 

Lily nodded, and then took a breath. “Keep that secret for me.” 

Sirius’s eyes darted back to Lily, holding Harry close and safe. 

He let out his breath. “I always have.”

**Author's Note:**

> A word about the Latin, mostly because I think it’s an interesting twist. So I don’t know Latin, but I know how to use Google Translate. I went and had it translate, English to Latin: “secret kept in one person unable to tell under duress”, and up popped the phrase I use in the store above, “uno homine non est dicere coactus”. I thought, “Very nice!” and went ahead and put that in. And then, as a lark, I went back and plugged the Latin phrase back in and translated it back into English…and got “one man will be compelled to”. Considering what happens with Peter as the Secret Keeper, I thought that was actually pretty appropriate. You are welcome to read it any way you like.


End file.
